Communicate to be heard

For many of us today, our workplace has changed considerably. Not just the location, but the environment. Some of us sit at kitchen tables to work, some of us sit at a table in our bedrooms, and some of us (who are the lucky ones) have a real office in our homes.

For me, the workplace and the environment have been the same for over 20 years. I am what used to be considered a remote worker or teleworker, having spent approximately 5 years in a corporate environment as a project manager and remote trainer and 15 years as a freelancer as a recruiter, training designer and facilitator, working from home. So, for me, the current work environment is not new.

I enjoy working from a home office, although, as I recall, it took me a while to adjust to myself and others in my home. And communication was difficult. I remember several communication challenges, one of which was the large construction project that was taking place outside my window. The noise was incredible. To communicate with others, on the phone or in conference calls, I had to get in my car, drive to a local park, and join conference calls on my cell phone. Try to follow a PowerPoint presentation without access to Zoom or its equivalent.

Remote work can raise a variety of communication challenges, not just with the medium, but with the words and tone we use when communicating on the phone. Even video calls are challenging because expressions and body language are difficult to read. And it’s hard to hear, especially when the entire team is on the call. Listening is a skill that requires constant work. How is the active participation of all who receive the message ensured? How do you make sure they are listening to what is being communicated? What is your measure to make sure they hear and understand the message?

How we listen.

There are five different types of listening, depending on Future-ready leadership programs offered by Mohawk College Enterprise (MCE). In these programs, the emphasis is on the ability of leaders to communicate with their teams by being effective listeners. They identify the different types of listening as feigned, selective, active, reflective, and empathetic.

Have you ever found your mind wandering during conference calls or online meetings? Have you ever found yourself thinking about what to prepare for dinner tonight or what is the best way to help your kids with their last homework online instead of discussing the business issue or the issue raised by a team member? If so, pretend to be listening. You may be demonstrating correct body language with nods and murmurs of assent, but your mind is elsewhere. This happens to all of us, and while it should be discouraged, we recognize that sometimes we just need to daydream.

Selective listening is disruptive because we are listening to what we want to hear, interpreting what we hear in terms of our opinions, points of view, and attitudes on the subject rather than accepting the intention of the speaker. Simoni Lawrence of the Hamilton Ticates Canadian Football League says: “Real communication is not always about what is said, it is always about what is heard.” The listener may hear specific words and phrases differently than what the speaker intended, which can lead to misinformation, mistakes, assumptions, and incorrect decisions, and worse, relationships are adversely affected.

Think of the current phrase “defunding the police.” What do we hear when we hear the word underfunding? Some of us hear ‘dismantle or dismantle the current police structure and system’, others hear ‘reduce the police budget’ and still others hear ‘redistribute the police budget to better reflect the needs of the community’.

What is the intention of those who ask for the defunding of the police? What are we hearing from this request?

How we listen.

Active, reflective, and empathetic listening is interactive in nature. These forms of listening require the active participation of both the sender and the receiver with feedback between the two parties. Participation is the act of being clear about the message being sent and the recipient responding correctly and appropriately. Empathic listening is considered the best way, as it is about paying attention, listening with insight and compassion.

Although we understand and appreciate the concept of empathic listening, it is difficult to apply it continuously. The challenge is how we perceive the world. Our perceptions may be coloring our ability to listen effectively. In his book Dare to lead, BrenĂ© Brown tells us that these perceptions or lenses through which we see the world “… are welded to who we are. That is a challenge if you were raised in the majority culture – white, straight, male, middle class. .. – “. and they probably taught him that his perspective is the correct perspective and that everyone else should adjust their lens. “

The key to empathic listening is being able to learn from others, being able to adjust our lens when asking, and carefully considering their input and feedback. We need to give them the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings, ask questions to clarify our understanding, and discover what they want to change. With this clarity of communication, we can measure how effectively we respond.

Communication is a dynamic process, considering the message not only in terms of content, words, and tone, but also in how it will be conveyed most effectively. With effective communication, regardless of our workplace or environment, we work to connect with others by acknowledging the intent of your message, adjusting our perception, and ensuring clarity and understanding of what is heard.

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