If you’ve caught yourself doing any of these 10 things on a date or at the beginning of a relationship and the man disappeared or broke up with you, it might be time to make some changes.
1. Talk about your ex boyfriend. Men really don’t want to hear about the men who came before them. It’s also a good sign that you haven’t gotten over your ex. He may also feel like you are comparing him to your ex. Men want to be accepted, not compared.
2. Share too many feelings. Men don’t really like to talk about feelings. They will talk about feelings, but only when they feel like it. If you want to talk about your feelings, call a girlfriend. Feeling conversations will scare you.
3. Buy him a gift. If you buy him a gift, especially if he hasn’t bought you one, it puts a lot of pressure on a man. He assumes you can expect gifts too. It may not be ready to gift you yet. It also tells him that you invested effort. That’s fine if he’s putting in effort, but doing this just because he felt it makes him feel like he can participate in that cycle of resentment. In other words, you give him gifts, he doesn’t, and you start to resent doing this for him even though he never asked you. Happens all the time.
4. Talk about the men who want to date you. Do not do this. It’s just in bad taste. If other men look for you, he will find out without you telling him. He will see this as you try to make him jealous and he will disappear and find that a woman does not do this.
5. Do your clothes or other household chores. Ugh, if I wanted a mother, I would go home. Men do not want to have sex with their mother. This is a surefire way to kill her attraction to you if you do it before a serious engagement. If you are always helping men, this may be what scared you.
6. Share personal details of your life with him. Later, when your relationship is established and he gets to know you better, this may be fine. However, at first they don’t have a frame of reference about you and are very likely to make generalized assumptions based on their experiences. Sharing your life story too soon can scare you.
7. Initiate text messages and phone calls. This is your first sign that you may not be able to trust him. If you can’t wait for me to call or text you, you’re trying to control the outcome. The result, he sees you as a controller and runs for the hills.
8. Cook an elaborate dinner. Save nice dinners for after the engagement. If you do it too soon, you will see that you are trying to impress him. I should really try to impress you right now, not the other way around. A woman who tries too hard is often seen as desperate. Desperate women chase men away.
9. Present yourself as your home or workplace without prior notice. Double ugh. This you may associate with stalking, not to mention the bad memories it brings to mind about the last girl who wouldn’t take no for an answer. This will give you the crazy girl tag and scare you faster than anything else.
10. Ask where the relationship is going. Women often ask this up front or ask you how you feel about them or if you like you. This shows you that you are not sure and that you are depending on it for validation. Start feeling responsible for your happiness. Let him take this responsibility on his own, don’t force him. You may not like the cards he shows you.
If you’ve been doing any of the above on dates or in the first few weeks or months of dating, that’s why it disappeared.