I often hear from wives who worry that it is too late to get their husbands back. Sometimes, there has already been a separation or divorce. Or sometimes your husband has met someone else or has “moved on.” Other times, there has been infidelity or the wife admitted that she made some “big mistakes” that she is not sure she can overcome. These wives are often heartbroken at the thought that it will be too late to save or get the marriage back.
I think it is rarely too late. But often, you can’t rely on luck or fate to get it back. Most of the time, it really helps to have a very deliberate and well thought out plan. I will discuss more about this matter in the next article.
Many times, it is not too late to get your husband back (even when it seems like it is 🙂 Sometimes I correspond with wives who are about to give up on their husband or marriage because they think the situation is desperate and are just trying to be realistic.
But I’ve seen countless situations like this change. I have seen couples divorced and married to other people get back together. I’ve seen couples who couldn’t stand each other’s situation and turned it around. It doesn’t always happen at a certain time or immediately. But it certainly can happen. And it happens more often when you don’t push too hard or make it too obvious that this is what you are trying to achieve. You have to remember that you are trying to attract him to you while making him think that it is his idea.
Get your husband back when he’s almost given up: I often suggest to wives that they will be more successful in getting their husbands back if they don’t make it very clear that this is what they are trying to do. The reason for this is that sometimes the harder you put in the situation, the less attractive you seem. The more you call, text, and act very dramatic when your husband is not receptive to this, the more you increase your chances of him seeing you negatively and then moving further away from you.
So sometimes it’s smarter to back up (and go back) just a little bit. And frankly, I suspect this is easier to do when things are looking the most dire. I didn’t really start gaining ground to get my husband back until I literally almost gave up and returned to my hometown seeking the support of my family and friends.
It was only after hearing the silence that he began to wonder about me and therefore to think about me. And it wasn’t until she found out that I was trying to move on and have fun with friends that she started to get a little interested again.
Wives sometimes tell me that they don’t know if they have the ability to back off. Because they feel very desperate to get it back and they are very afraid that their time is running out. If this describes how you feel, ask yourself if your previous attempts to get it back have worked. Have you gotten what you wanted to call, text, show up, or try to provoke your guilt or compassion? If not, maybe it’s time to try something new.
Sometimes when you realize you’ve reached the end of the road with your current strategy, it’s easier to put caution aside and wonder how much worse it could be if you gave yourself permission to do it from another angle. . Sometimes it helps to ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. Because if you already fear that you are about to lose it forever or that it is too late to get it back, then maybe there is not much to lose if you try something new.
Get it back by using your curiosity combined with a focus on the positive: This is where many women, at least in my opinion, go wrong. They are tempted to think about the things that will push you away from them instead of pushing you towards them.
They want to convince you that he was wrong. They want to tempt you to “work” on your problems. They want to make you feel jealous, sorry, angry, or guilty. But, what they don’t realize (and what I didn’t realize for a long time) is that focusing on the negative causes him to associate the resulting negative feeling towards you and the marriage. Sometimes this will only make your situation worse.
It is often best if you allow time and distance to help your cause rather than make it worse. You want to give him time to wonder what you are doing. And when he thinks of you, hears from you, or hears about you, you want him to know that you are busy, vibrant, and managing. You must show him the lively, happy and strong woman with whom he feels in love. You want to portray the attributes that attract him to you rather than repel him. And you should do this even when it doesn’t seem to matter because it always matters.
You never know when the time period is approaching when things can change. And, even if that moment is not immediate, there will generally be no harm in putting your best foot forward and focusing on the positive. This alone usually improves the situation. And this is the first step to get it back.